should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
