You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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