i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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