dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
