Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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