He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
