So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
