$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
