Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
