Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
