they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
