You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
