We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
