i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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