i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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