i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
