at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
