If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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