I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
