I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
