Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
