Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
