apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
