but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
