Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
