Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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