I CAN MOONWALK!
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
