so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
