FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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