There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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