I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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