You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
