We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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