If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
