wat bout pragnant strippers??
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
