there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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