how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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