i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
