I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Randomize
