he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
