Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
