I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
did i just pee glitter
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
