party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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