Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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