Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
