You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
