Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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