I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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