I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
