somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
