The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Randomize
