Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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