Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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