"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
