Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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